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If All Things Are Possible Why Can't
I Balance My Checkbook
For me, the most terrible time of each
month is the day our bank statement comes. We commonly
call it BSS (Bank Statement Syndrome). I don't know
why it is, but I have trouble getting the parsonage
checkbook to balance with the monthly bank statement.
That ominous document intimidates me every time it
arrives. After all, the bank's business is keeping
track of accounts. They have hundreds, maybe thousands
of accounts and I have just one. On the surface, it
seems a rather simple thing for me to keep our checking
account up to date, but I assure you, it is not. Every
time I try, I lose interest.
Keeping our checkbook accurately balanced is almost
like a circus balancing act; everything is up in the
air. No matter how often I add those figures, I never
get the same result twice. I have resorted to adding
up the figures at least three times and then take
the average. So far, I've been batting a .195 and
have been dropped by the major league, which has lost
interest in my career. This may satisfy my conscience
but it does little to appease the accounting department
of my friendly banking institution.
The thing flustering me more than anything else are
those fees. The average bank has more fees than a
West Virginia hound dog has fleas. Everything I turn
around there is another fee. (I need to stop turning
around.) Somebody needs to invent a fee powder.
Each bank must employ a stable of employees whose
only job is to dream up these fees. How else can you
explain it? These fees are creative enough to cover
every aspect of a person's wallet, retroactive three
generations back.
To open an account there is a fee. Each account carries
a monthly maintenance fee. I have been paying this
monthly maintenance fee for several years and I have
yet to see someone from the bank come out and mow
my lawn. What is this maintenance fee? What are they
maintaining? They certainly are not maintaining my
checkbook. With all the fees I am paying, I would
expect someone from the bank come to my house, sit
around my table, and help me balance my checkbook.
I would supply the coffee and donuts -for a small
fee of course.
Another thing I do not understand is the ATM fee.
Why do I have to pay money to the bank to get my money
out of the bank? Whose money is it anyway?
I think banks offer monthly bonuses to the employee
who comes up with the most creative fee for that month
to impose on its customers. Fe?Fi?Fo?Fum all those
bank fees are dumb.
Once upon a time and far far away, banks would bribe
customers with toasters or umbrellas to open accounts
with them. Those very days are over, you can be sure.
Now, I'm the one bribing the bank to keep my account
with them.
Last week I slipped the cashier the usual quarter
and asked her to make sure my deposit got in my account,
please. I do not know whether it is bribery or just
a gamble and probably would do better with the Florida
lottery.
I would not mind it so much if only my checkbook
would occasionally agree with the bank statement.
It takes a lot of effort on my part to keep some semblance
of order in my checkbook. I am not always as successful
as I would like. I make mistakes and sometimes they
cost me. At my bank when I bounce a $3.75 check, I
have to take a second mortgage out on my house to
pay the fee.
I would close my account and transferred to another
bank that there is a closing fee, a transfer fee and
a fee that has no explanation whatsoever. Just a goodbye
jester from my bank, one last chance for them to screw
up my checking book.
Some people think God should do everything for them.
All they have to do is sit back and enjoy themselves
and God will do everything for them. A prevalent attitude
about faith supports this erroneous notion. Someone
once compared this idea of faith as putting a "nickel
in the slot and pull the lever" and you get what
you want.
Some things in my life only God can do and I need
to understand what they are and allow Him to do them.
However, some things in my life God expects me to
do. God will never do these things for me. I must
come to grips with this distinction. If I don't, my
life will be miserable.
Some people are sitting around waiting for God to
do something He is expecting them to do. As they wait,
they become frustrated and start accusing God of all
sorts of sinister things.
Part of getting to know God is understanding this.
What is my responsibility as a Christian? What does
God expect from me?
An Old Testament verse puts much of this into perspective.
After Solomon dedicated the Temple God responded by
saying, "If my people, which are called by my
name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek
my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will
I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and
will heal their land" (2 Chronicles 7:14 KJV).
For the most part, many people are sitting around
waiting for God to balance their checkbook when He
has put the pencil in our hands.
by James
Snyder
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