Advice To The Travel Weary Vacationer
by
James Snyder
Summer is usually a busy time, with everybody engaging
in one of the great American activities. Accord-ing to the
overwhelming number of citizens, no summer is actually official
until every American pursues this activity vigorously. Of
course, I’m referring to summer family vacation.
Our American government guarantees its citizens the right
to “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.”
This is the great American dream, drawing people from all
over the world to our shores. Once they become full-fledged
American citizens, they then dream of taking a summer vacation
to Italy or France.
I’m not sure how it happened, but somewhere, someone
defined “the pursuit of happiness” to mean summer
family vacations. Actually, if it were left up to me, I
could find happiness in some other pursuit. But who am I
to buck the great American tradition?
Cont. below...
Since the “pursuit of happiness” is the annual
summer vacation, I thought it might be beneficial if I offered,
out of my vast years of experience, some advice to my fellow
vacationers on this crucial subject. After all, somebody
needs to learn from my mistakes; I’m not sure I have.
Every family vacationer consists of two categories. There
are those who plan the vacation and those who fund the vacation.
The difference is obvious. If you plan a vacation, you’re
not required to fund it. If you fund the vacation, you have
no say in the planning.
Rules are rules and I would like to know who made up these
rules. I’m guessing it was no one in the funding category.
If your responsibility is to fund the family vacation,
there are certain things you are not allowed to say to those
who are planning said vacation. For one, the sponsor of
the vacation is never allowed to mention the word “budget.”
Nothing kills the exuberant spirit of the vacation planner
than mentioning that foul word “budget.”
If you insist on interjecting the concept of budget to
the summer vacation, you might as well stay at home. Now,
if you exercise this option, be prepared to endure the worst
summer of your life. The entire cast of your family will
work together making you regret this option. They will find
ways to finagle money out of you throughout the summer,
far exceeding what you would have spent on the vacation,
which brings the curtain down on your precious budget.
Cont. below...
One year I thought I had a brilliant idea. I sent my family
on the vacation while I stayed at home. It was the most
relaxing two weeks I had ever enjoyed in my life.
Unfortunately, a month after my family returned from their
vacation I began getting the credit card bills from their
delightful jaunt. According to my credit card statement,
my family had the time of their life. No expense was spared
for their enjoyment.
The next year, and every year after, I accompanied my family
on the annual summer vacation just to keep tabs on my credit
card. And believe me; the tab grew each day of our vacation.
So, when anyone in your family mentions the word “vacation,”
bite your tongue if the word “budget” pops into
your mind and take it like the man you are, which is the
only sensible thing to do.
I know when the first mention of the concept comes up in
the family discussion, immediately you might think to yourself,
“is it really worth it?”
I have wrestled with this for many years. Every annual
two-week vacation takes six months to prepare for, five
months and two weeks to recover from, along with the mysterious
disappearance of a full year’s salary. Following the
vacation there is no logical explanation as to where that
money went.
Someone said a picture is worth a thousand words. Let me
modify this to apply to the family summer vacation. A vacation
picture is worth $1,000. The average camera holds at least
36 pictures per roll, not to mention how many rolls of film
are used during any vacation n you do the math, it’s
too painful for me to consider.
Following every vacation, there is the necessary time to
recover. Recovering from the summer vacation is like recovering
the living room sofa. The sofa looks refreshed and refurbished,
but you know what’s underneath and you know it really
isn’t what it boasts to be.
No matter how much you recover that old living room sofa,
it is still old and worn out. Appearances can be deceiving
and appearances at the summer vacation can also be deceiving.
After years of financing the annual summer vacation, I
have concluded that fun is expensive. I have found no way
of getting around this truth.
On the other hand, grumpy is free. Lately, I’ve been
leaning toward grumpy.
Summer vacations are necessary and a person just has to
learn to deal with it and make the most of it, or the least
of it, depending on your perspective.
Everybody needs to get away and rest. Even Jesus understood
this concept.
He invites us to “Come unto me, all ye that labour
and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke
upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart:
and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy,
and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30 KJV.)
The best thing about the “rest” Jesus offers
is he has already paid for it. Now that’s a vacation
I can really enjoy.
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