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July 10th, 2006
MANAGING THE FEAR OF LONELINESS
by Stan Popovich
Sometime or another we will experience a time when
we are alone. The first step is to become comfortable
with yourself and having the self-confidence that
you will be able to manage being alone. There is nothing
wrong with being alone. If being alone bothers you
then seeing a counselor can help you with these issues.
In the meantime, here is a short list of techniques
that a person can use so that the fear of being alone
doesn’t become a major issue in their lives.
The first step is to find an activity that you enjoy
and where you can meet a lot of people. For instance,
joining a group activity such as a volleyball group,
women’s club, or making crafts can be a great
way to meet people. Doing something that you like
to do will make you happy and will increase your chances
of making friends.
Spending time with animals can be a great source
of companionship. Having a dog or cat can make us
feel loved. If you don’t own a dog or cat, then
volunteer at the local animal shelter. Spending time
with an animal or pet can help us to feel better and
can be of good company to all of us whether we are
alone or not.
Helping others through community service can be of
some help. There are many people out there who could
benefit from your time and talents. Helping others
can give you a source of pride, help you feel better
about yourself, and can provide long lasting friendships.
Give it a try and you will be surprised.
Challenge your negative thinking with positive statements
and realistic thinking. When encountering thoughts
that make your lonely or depressed, challenge those
thoughts by asking yourself questions that will maintain
objectivity and common sense. For example, some people
may think that if they are alone at the present time
then they will always be alone. This is not true.
Even if your alone today doesn’t mean that you
will be alone all the time. No one can predict the
future with one hundred percent accuracy.
It isn’t fun being alone, but sometimes there
are worse things. For instance, imagine that you are
married or stuck in a relationship that you can’t
get out of and also makes you miserable. Not only
do you have to live with this person, there is no
way to get out of the relationship because of various
financial or personal reasons. As a result, you are
stuck living with someone that you can’t stand
and makes you depressed every single day of your life.
With this viewpoint, being alone doesn’t sound
that bad.
The important thing is to do something constructive.
Sitting around and doing nothing will not make things
any better whether it is dealing with the fear of
being alone or something else. Go out and do something
that you like to do. In addition, take it one day
at a time and stay committed in trying to solve your
problem.
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