In
the Presence of Ladies
Here
is some OLD advice that young men would still do well to
heed when in the presence of ladies.
"When
entering a crowded streetcar, a lady should leave the door
open. It is quite permissible for her to appropriate the
seat of the man who gets up to close it"
The Cynic's Rules of Conduct, 1905
"A gentleman will assist a lady over a bad crossing,
or from an omnibus or carriage, without waiting for the
formality of an introduction. When the service is performed,
he will raise his hat, bow and pass on."
Hill's Forms, 1873
"In passing through a door, the gentleman holds it
open for the lady, even though he never saw her before.
he also precedes the lady in ascending stairs, and allows
her to precede him in descending."
Polite Society at Home and Abroad, 1891
"Do not press before a lady at a theater or a concert.
Always yield to her, if practicable, your seat and place.
Do no sit when she is standing, without offering her your
place. Consult not only your own ease, but also the comfort
of those around you."
Martine's Handbook, 1866
"It is not deemed polite and respectful to smoke in
the presence of ladies, even though they are amiable enough
to permit it."
Martine's Handbook, 1866
"If you meet a lady of your acquaintance in the street,
it is her part to notice you first, unless, indeed you are
very intimate. The reason is, if you bow to a lady first,
she may not choose to acknowledge you, and there is no remedy;
but if she bow to you--you as a gentleman cannot cut her."
Hints on Etiquette, 1836
"Chesterfield
says, 'Civility is particularly due to all women; and, remember,
that no provocation whatsoever can justify any man in not
being civil to every woman; and the greatest man would justly
be reckoned a brute if he were not civil to the meanest
woman. It is due to their sex, and is the only protection
they have against the superior strength of ours; nay, even
a little is allowable with women; and a man may, without
weakness, tell a woman she is either handsomer or wiser
than she is'"
Martine's Handbook, 1866
Should
one demand the surrender of a seat to a lady in a crowded
theater?
"To this, we would answer that, if the gallantry of
the gentlemen thus situated does not prompt them to proffer
the seats in question, it is rudeness to request it. A lady
is a lady, it is true; but if she could not come early enough
to get a good seat, she cannot expect that spectators who
did should inconvenience themselves for her sake"
Gody's Ladies Book, Jan 1850
"A gentleman removes his hat when entering a room where
there are ladies. When he meets a lady friend, he should
raise his hat gracefully..."
Polite Society at Home and Abroad, 1891
"...remember also that really well bred women will
not thank you for making them conspicuous by over officiousness
in their defense, unless, indeed, there be any serious or
glaring violation of decorum. In small matters, ladies are
both able and willing to take care of themselves, and would
prefer being allowed to overwhelm the unlucky offender in
their own way"
Hints on Etiquette, 1836
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